"The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."Gen:2:18.
A living continuing growing maturing love relationship with Jesus Christ is truly the answer to everything in this life. It is out of, and from this relationship with the great God thru Jesus that we learn how to have other relationship with others.
We From Him
From the very beginning the Creator God has
intended that we should live in relationship and in community with him and with
others. In creating us, the Lord God used his very self as the pattern from
which all of us derive our particular characteristics.
"Then God said, “Let us make
mankind in our image, in our likeness",
"So God created mankind in his own image,in the image
of God he created them; male and female"
This tells us that both gender finds it's common
source in, and from God himself, that each gender express who God is to one
another. This is why God has ordained that the marriage union and relationship
be composed of two persons of opposite gender, that what one lacks, the other
supplies. In this way we come to experience who God is and his unconditional
love that he has for and toward humanity within the most personal and intimate
of all relationships.
Not Good to Be Alone
We are told in the inspired creation epic
of Genesis that God had declared that humanity should
live in relationship.
"Then the Lord God said "It is not
good for man to be alone" Gen: 2:18
"So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall
be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to
his wife, and they become one flesh. (21-24)
God brings forth "another" out
of "the man" stressing that they together are
"the same" yet, "different"
but still finding their common origins with God himself. They are "distinct”, yet, truly not "separate" and of the same "essence ".
The bonding in this relation was intended by
God to be, that they each were to be free to be who they are, and who God had
intended them to be. Within this relationship there was to be unconditional
love for each other and a close mutual sharing of their selves to and for each
other. This was to be an equal and mutually edifying relationship together.
"Adam and his wife were both naked, and
they felt no shame."(25)
God's Purpose
To teach humanity about what relationship with
God is about, he gave us the sacred relationship of marriage. The Apostle
St. Paul wrote of this very relationship to the primitive Apostolic church two
thousand years ago, and to all of us gown thru the ages, regarding marriage and
God's ordained purpose.
St. Paul begins his discourse on the marriage relationship with the admonition
for mutual deference on the past of husband and wife.
"Submit to one another out of
reverence for Christ."Eph:5:21
Often this admonition is over looked by one or both of those in the
marriage union. St. Paul is saying that each should put the other first over
their own selves and to graciously serve one another.
St. Paul continues with some of the most often quoted instructions on the
husband wife relationship, but however, all that follows should be understood
in the light of the Apostles' comments of mutual submission.
"Wives, submit (or better understood to
defer) yourselves to your own
husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as
Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as
the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in
everything." (22-24)
This is not a "master servant relationship",
this is a wife knowing that her husband has her best interest in mind in regard
to all things and that she is able to be assured that her husband is
doing all that he is able to protect their family and to be responsible toward
and for them.
St. Paul then turns to the role of the husband and the mystery of
the living symbol of the marriage union; that it is to demonstrate the
same love which Jesus has and does extend toward the Church this mystery has
come down even from the very dawn of creation and joining of the first man and
woman.
"Husbands,
love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to
make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to
present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any
other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love
their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After
all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body,
just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this
reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and
the two will become one flesh.” (25-31)
These words place the burden of out flowing love on the shoulder of the husband
to be and to do all that is with his ability to put his wife first in all things;
laying down his own wants, desires, plans, resources, time and even his very
life. This far from the idea that the husband commands his wife and subjugating
her to his wants and demands. The husband is rather to be the kind of husband
toward his wife as Jesus is to the church. The husband should recognize his
wife as an equal and see his wife as our God sees her.
St. Paul than makes this explanation of the living symbol of marriage
"This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church." (32)
Here St. Paul gives a profound, but cryptic, statement in calling marriage
"a profound mystery” . The Greek word which St. Paul
chooses, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, is "Maga" and is translated as "great or "profound". The
word "Maga” was a military word. “Maga" was
used to describe the place on the field of battle where to opposing forces
collided in a great conflict. What is St. Paul telling us with the use of the
word "Maga" ?
St. Paul is tell us that the Christian
marriage is ordained to stand on the point a salience to advance the Kingdom of
God against the Kingdom of this world. This speaks of the husband-and-wife
union with in the economy of God as being on the very forefront of advancing
the Kingdom thru their sacred union together, this is so that others around
them can peer into their lives and see what a relationship with Jesus Christ
looks like. This is so that others can see the unconditional boundless love,
forgiveness, graciousness, and care that Jesus shows to his Church and the
selfless giving that Jesus shows to each and all.
St. Paul is telling us as well that the
Kingdom of God is and can be advanced by the marriage union into the lives of
others.
"However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves
himself, (33a)
This is how a man is to relate to his wife, showing her all the selfless love
and graces and forgiveness and care that Jesus shows to his Church.
"and the wife must respect her husband".(33b)
This far from being just instruction for the wife alone that a "wife must respect her husband" . The role of
the husband is still in view in the passive sense. This instruction to
the wife assumes that her husband will be the kind of man
which she can respect in all his conduct toward her and others. A godly man is
a man who's focus is upon Jesus Christ above all else.
Selfless Love
The Great God, the Holy Trinity, Father, Son
and Holy Spirit, has demonstrated selfless love to all of humanity thru the
giving of his Holy Son Jesus Christ. This love is a love which is outward
and unconditional toward others, it is the very love of Jesus.
This giving of Jesus, was more than "self-sacrifice" it was "sacrifice of the self". Jesus gave over his
whole self to be in accord with the divine perfect will of the Father for the
sake of all humanity.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only
Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal
life." Jhn: 3:16
This tells us that God gave Christ, his Son,
so that we might have life everlasting in a love relationship.
In the same way Jesus faced the cross so that we might have eternal life.
"For the joy set before him he endured the cross," Heb:12:2b
The joy which our Lord Jesus experienced was
the joy of knowing that he was able to bring us into eternal life, it gave Jesus’
joy to know the outcome of his sacrifice for us and all of us, would be eternal
life for any who will but freely receive it.
Jesus laid down his life joyfully for out
eternal best good. This is the same selfless love that husbands and wives are
called to have for each other.
St. Paul instructs us thru his Epistle to Roman Christians to "honor one another" above our selves. This is
wise advice for all who enter into the most intimate of relationships that of
marriage.
All For the Other
In the culture of the day, we often hear that
marriage is a "50-50" proposition, yet
this type of commitment means, that each is only vested half way in to the
marriage union. If this is the degree which we enter the relationship of marriage
we will find that it may not ensure long when the stresses of life test it's
mettle.
We need to be fully vested toward and for one another, all for the other and
with a focus on Jesus our marriages can endure and cope with life's challenges.
Two Are Better Than One
This relationship of marriage was ordained by
God is best lived out with the divine blessing of God. This is the great God
who reveals his love to and for us. This union will be given cohesion thru the
abiding presences of God which creates a bound of love and unity and will draw
husband and wife together as they grow in their own respective relationship
with Jesus.
The Great God in his divine wisdom declared
that "it is not good that the man should be alone" . This
need and blessing of another is expanded in the poetic writing of Ecclesiastes
written by or compiled by Salomon.
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Eccl: 4:9-12
These verses from Ecclesiastes, show us, that
what God has given us in marriage, out of his love and grace for us, is not
just to be "partnered" with another but a
holy union which will aid each in facing the difficulties of this life, and
with Jesus as the true sources of unity each can act as one in confronting whatever
is encountered in life.
When Jesus is that "cord" which binds us together then, the marriage
union can face whatever arises in life.
This is the sacred union that God has given
and ordained for humanity, a union which in its best fullest expression brings
each into and expresses a deep growing relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ
and one another.
Benediction: May we each and all be blessed to
advance God' kingdom thru a deep abiding love relationship, with another and
with our Lord Jesus Christ, today, tomorrow and forevermore. Amen.
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Rev. Todd Crouch, Norman, Oklahoma
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